Cynical Paddy again???

Have I became cynical again? Somehow, I feel that there is so much negativity within me ... where does this negativity come from??? =(

Am I losing my passion again? I think I feel the flame flickering ...

God's ways vs world's ways ...
I can't help but feel .... enticed at times ... to follow the worldly ways ... cos they do have its pay-outs ... even though its just for a moment ... Seeing people climbing up the career ladder ... getting better opportunities than me becos they had it planned(?) ... just 'smoking' their way through ... appearing to be so busy ... at the right moment .... when the person in authority is around ... joining in the office politics .... stabbing one another behind each other's backs ... and yet smiling ever so sweetly in front of each other ....

Frightening ... but ... it allows one to climb ....

I feel like compromising ... but I know I must hang on ... to my beliefs and conviction ... but for how long ???